...of panic? Yeah today I've been panicked feeling. Mostly it has to do with the fact that I'm not living within my budget. I'll admit it here and now: I'm a math major, a math teacher, who is having issues managing her money. It's all a numbers game really, and I'm losing. How can this happen to me of all people?! How can I be failing at following a simple equation?? I'll tell you how in two words -- unrealistic goals. OK I need more words, 3 more ok? -- no self control. I've set an unrealistic budget that won't get my credit card paid off bc I can't live within the budget and not use the credit card. I also don't deny myself much. Yep, here I am making that major character flaw confession. I want new school clothing, so I go buy it. Granted some of my new shirts for summer and early fall are already pilling up from wear this summer, and my dress pants really are looking poor, but could I have gotten by looking a little ragged but at least being frugal with my money? Yes. Would I have liked it? Nope. Do I spend money to make myself happy? Does that last one really need an answer?
So after crying on the phone to my mother and lamenting that I just need some "free money" from who ever has it to give out (not my parents, which is ok, this is my fault, and I wouldn't ask them for money anyways), I have decided to rework my budget tonight. This is going to take at least an hour, and it's going to take a lot of honesty on my part. How come being honest with yourself is sometimes the hardest thing ever? If we're asking questions: How come a tank of gas is around $40 now when a few years ago when I was in college it was $20 - $25?! Gas prices suck. Anyhoo, that's what I'll be doing tonight, after I work out at my over-priced gym... after driving my car out of my over-priced garage... away from my over-priced apartment complex...
Realistically speaking, which is something I strive to do normally, there are luxuries that I spend too much on, but I refuse to cut down on:
1. My apartment: I love the location. I love the amenities (which jack up the price). I don't want to move again any time soon.
2. My garage: to make said apartment livable, my Christmas decorations, the boxes of bows LaRae and I made, an extra kitchen island table, and a few other odds and ends cannot remain in it. Otherwise, said apartment feels crowded, and I get the uncontrollable urge to move due to my extreme discomfort at feeling closed in. Oh yeah, and I like getting in the car and it not being so hot in the summer, and I'm going to love no have to de-ice the windows/whole car in the winter.
3. My dog: He doesn't cost that much now. His food is like $30 every few months. His wellness plan with the vet is about $20 a month. His grooming needs to be something I could do myself, but I can't trim his facial hair -- he won't let me, and I assume (correct me if I'm wrong) that poking is eye out with the scissors will cost more than a grooming fee. So yeah, he's not really a luxury -- he's my companion who's here for good. :-)
4. Internet and cell phone service: hey, at least I don't have a land line too! I get a discount on the internet due to the free cable tv the complex pays for being in the bundle.
5. Comics: I won't do without these. Getting comics on Wednesdays makes my work week livable. That trip to the comic shop helps me get through the week.
Things I can give up:
1. Sodas: I switched to water a month or so ago, and once I get a filter, it's going to be cheap to drink.
2. Eating Out: I've done it before, I'll do it again.
3. Manicures and Pedicures: Ok, I'll work on this one. I can't commit yet... I am horrid at keeping up my own nails, and I HATE pointing to a kid's paper with a nasty looking nail.
4. The Dream of a New Car: for a while at least. I need to just not worry about that for a while and deal with the car I've got for a bit longer. Having a good down payment and buying a car will make it all the sweeter when I get to get a car.
5. hmmmm.
OK so here's the all call: anyone wishing to marry me and make me a rich woman, apply now. Anyone with free money they wish to give away, apply now. Anyone wishing to adopt a teacher, apply now. Anyone with the desire to throw away let's say $3000 - $5000 dollars, apply now. Anyone wishing to adopt a 24 year old and give her lots of money, apply now. Anyone wishing to pray for me that I get this under control and find a good Christian man for my life (money or no, but has a job for sure), please do. :-) Hey it never hurts to toss the man thing in there.
Yes, I know this was a non-update on my life, but this is what's weighing on me today, and I needed to get it all out somewhere where I knew maybe someone out there would understand. I'll update better in a few days. Love you all!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
Searching for Joanna, Part I
Today marks the start of a hopefully humorous and reoccurring series on my blog. New installations will come irregularly, so be ready for that. :-)
I've always enjoyed clicking on the visitor counter on my blog to see what people have clicked on to get to my blog. Usually it's a smattering of people who come directly here from the address bar on their browser, or it's people who click on the link to my site from other blogs. Yeah, how dull! What I live for are the google (sometimes other search engines) searches! Oh yes, I can see exactly what the people typed in the search bar. Here's what's on my list right now -- yes, the actual search words that got them here as well as my thoughts on them:
1. larae dwi - HA HA HA! LaRae was so not happy about that one!
2. i love math teacher blog - So is that you loving a math teacher or a teacher who loves math's blog?
3. church of christ singles - Are you looking for singles or the actual site?
4. Weasley’s Mourning - I used this exact phrase recently. In fact, on this person's seach, it came up as the first hit on the google list.
5. pornographic books - I was sooooo not happy about this one. It's because of the stuff I've said about postsecret. I've warned ya'll about what you might see on the link to it as well as talked about the books. :-) Hm, not a search list I want to be on...
6. math teacher costume - We look like everyone else! You want a costume to look like me?
7. gregorovich krum - Harry Potter reference
8. why is my eye burning and watering - That made me laugh; why are you looking for that whole phrase? Try not using vigamox; I hear it hurts like heck....
9. whaaaa - Really?
10. the miserable life of a public school teacher - Wait! I'm not miserable! I love my job!
11. cute teacher shoes - I'm not sure I have any of these. I'd love to know if they found any!
12. Midway high school yearbooks 2006 - I was sooo not what they were looking for.
13. gorilla scares kid lunch school - What a funny headline! Did the gorilla take the kid's lunch or just scare it during lunch at school?
14. life according to math flash project - If "life according to a high school math teacher" isn't that interesting or informative, how much could a math flash project tell you about life?
15. where to buy tummy tuck jeans Lewisville - I don't have these or know where to get them.
16. female math teachers - What a broad search. I'm one of these.
17. david krumholtz rounder - I love David Krumholtz, but I'm not sure where the rounder part came in. He's Charlie on Numb3rs.
18. Saladmaster salaries - Yes, that's my over-expensive cookware. It would be great if my cookware would add to the household and bring in a salary!
19. whaaaa - Is this the same person? As LaRae would say, "having a Boo Radley moment are we?"
20. first days for new high school math teacher - I have no advice for you on here. Sorry!
21. a week in the life of a teacher - Definitely more than a week on this blog.
Hope you enjoyed that. It makes me laugh to see what people search for and how they find my blog. Type my name and a bit about me, and I can't find my blog, but type "pornographic books" and there I am! To quote my search-reader -- WHAAAA! :-D
Internet comes tomorrow between 1 and 5 in the afternoon...supposedly.
I've always enjoyed clicking on the visitor counter on my blog to see what people have clicked on to get to my blog. Usually it's a smattering of people who come directly here from the address bar on their browser, or it's people who click on the link to my site from other blogs. Yeah, how dull! What I live for are the google (sometimes other search engines) searches! Oh yes, I can see exactly what the people typed in the search bar. Here's what's on my list right now -- yes, the actual search words that got them here as well as my thoughts on them:
1. larae dwi - HA HA HA! LaRae was so not happy about that one!
2. i love math teacher blog - So is that you loving a math teacher or a teacher who loves math's blog?
3. church of christ singles - Are you looking for singles or the actual site?
4. Weasley’s Mourning - I used this exact phrase recently. In fact, on this person's seach, it came up as the first hit on the google list.
5. pornographic books - I was sooooo not happy about this one. It's because of the stuff I've said about postsecret. I've warned ya'll about what you might see on the link to it as well as talked about the books. :-) Hm, not a search list I want to be on...
6. math teacher costume - We look like everyone else! You want a costume to look like me?
7. gregorovich krum - Harry Potter reference
8. why is my eye burning and watering - That made me laugh; why are you looking for that whole phrase? Try not using vigamox; I hear it hurts like heck....
9. whaaaa - Really?
10. the miserable life of a public school teacher - Wait! I'm not miserable! I love my job!
11. cute teacher shoes - I'm not sure I have any of these. I'd love to know if they found any!
12. Midway high school yearbooks 2006 - I was sooo not what they were looking for.
13. gorilla scares kid lunch school - What a funny headline! Did the gorilla take the kid's lunch or just scare it during lunch at school?
14. life according to math flash project - If "life according to a high school math teacher" isn't that interesting or informative, how much could a math flash project tell you about life?
15. where to buy tummy tuck jeans Lewisville - I don't have these or know where to get them.
16. female math teachers - What a broad search. I'm one of these.
17. david krumholtz rounder - I love David Krumholtz, but I'm not sure where the rounder part came in. He's Charlie on Numb3rs.
18. Saladmaster salaries - Yes, that's my over-expensive cookware. It would be great if my cookware would add to the household and bring in a salary!
19. whaaaa - Is this the same person? As LaRae would say, "having a Boo Radley moment are we?"
20. first days for new high school math teacher - I have no advice for you on here. Sorry!
21. a week in the life of a teacher - Definitely more than a week on this blog.
Hope you enjoyed that. It makes me laugh to see what people search for and how they find my blog. Type my name and a bit about me, and I can't find my blog, but type "pornographic books" and there I am! To quote my search-reader -- WHAAAA! :-D
Internet comes tomorrow between 1 and 5 in the afternoon...supposedly.
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