Sunday, June 01, 2008

Sex and the City

In college I would spend slow weekends and even weeknights at Hastings, the local video rental store/bookstore/coffee house/music store. Yeah, Hastings had the best combinations -- comics they let me read for free, books I would randomly pick up and buy, caffeine, and movies -- all at my fingertips. I could go there alone and be perfectly content. In fact, I preferred to go alone. I would sometimes go study there. Studying for me had to be done away from my dorm room or apartment. Often one could find me studying in the student center; I welcomed the interruptions. Later in my college years though, I would happily tote my advanced math work to Hastings.

Why am I telling you this? Why would you care? I dunno - except I'm taking a quick walk down memory lane to simply say that Hastings is where I would rent episodes of Sex and the City one disc (4 episodes) at a time until I'd finished the whole series. I loved getting a quick glimpse of the world of New York that I would never get to really be in. You see in my head, in my dreams, I am one of those 4 women -- independent, strong, beautiful, skinny, stylish, wearing fabulous clothing, carrying fabulous bags, and having a fabulous time. Sigh. To be a Charlotte York or Carrie Bradshaw (not sure I'd like to be Miranda Hobbs even if I am more on the logical side like she is and definitely don't want to be Samantha Jones with her relationships)... I can't fully imagine that life, but I enjoyed getting to watch it.

Tonight I got to see the movie with LaRae. First off, I love spending time with my big sis. More than once I've written about how cool I thought she was growing up. She really still is one of the coolest people I know. Second though, the movie was wonderful! The friendship, the bond, those women share. I know, I know, they're fictional, but it's still so great to watch. (Mild spoiler alert!) There were numerous parts that I could call my favorite, but the one that stands out is Charlotte being fiercely protective of her friend, Carrie, who has just been hurt deeply. Out of all the love lost, love found, broken dreams, broken hearts, that is the moment that made me want to cry the most. The amount of warrior-like ferocity that came out of that woman lashing out at the man who hurt her best friend was amazing to behold. On the way home, LaRae and I talked about the movie. There were points in it where we were laughing until we about cried and points where we could have cried (but not tears of laughter), but that point in the movie stood out to both of us.

It makes me think about my friendships. My sister and I have the bond that turns us into "mama bears" if someone hurts the other. Lord help you if you hurt my sister; you will rue the day you come into contact with ME again! Same holds true for the opposite. Sisterhood is easy like that for me.

In a previous post I said I wanted my real smile to be seen more... now I'm thinking about real friendship. How many friends do I have that would tell someone "I curse the day that you were born!" if that person had hurt me?? How many friends would I do the same for? How many friends are so close that my pain really and truly is their pain, not just a story for them to listen to? How much of my friends' pain to do I really feel? I want to be that sort of friend; it's not possible to be that close to everyone, but it is possible to have a group like that. Who is my group? Where do I fit? Who loves me that much?? I have friends that come to mind when I ask those questions. We all do I think. Now, I'm not asking you to step up and say, "I love you that much, Joanna!" Ha! I'm just wondering "aloud" really.

Excuse my nostalgia for a bit longer. The picture below is some friends from college. Horrid picture of me, so ignore me. The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree in the background was $10 at WalMart, and I did the best I could do with it, hence the giant bow on top! The 4 of us got together my last Christmas at Harding. One of the girls I've been friends with since I was a child. I sometimes get to talk to another one of them and we try to stay up on what's going on in each other's lives, and the final one my eye hesitantly strays to, well I haven't talked to her since her wedding day. All 3 of them at one point or another I was so loyal to that I would have yanked my earrings out and bitch slapped another girl for (ok maybe not something so fierce...). Sadly out of the 3, only 2 of them were willing to do that in return for me and did (again more like a verbal bitch slap than a physical one!). To you two -- I will always thank you for turning in your GATA jersey when you knew what was happening was wrong. I told you both the other day that I'm finally able to look back at my GATA memories and separate the good from the bad. You two were so much of the good. Thank you for being that good. I love and miss you both. To the other - I do miss you and wish our friendship had been as deep as I thought it was. I wish you'd been more thoughtful and that I'd been less trusting. When lines are drawn in the sand when you're out of the country, you can't stay on the line; one side or the other will always pull you over. If you'd realized that, perhaps things would have been different. Again, I miss you.

Life is short. I hope I am really surrounding myself with good friends, with people I can really trust to have my back. Because when it all came down to it in Sex and the City, those women had each other's backs. See the movie -- even if you didn't watch the show -- you'll love it. :-)

1 comment:

  1. Good post. I'm not sure where this puts me on the "How much do I love Joanna" spectrum, but I'm not seeing Sex and the City any time soon. I do love ya' though, and I think this was a very good, deeply reflective post.