WHY?!?!!?!

Why do I even read my college friends' blogs? It only makes me miss them enough that I wish I had the nerve to pick up the phone and call them or type an email....but then I just think, "They haven't called, and they've moved on from our friendship and get along without missing me, so I guess I should to..." But I miss them. I miss the fun we had in college, and I hate that I'm so freakin' reclusive that I don't do something about it.

I hate that arguements with some of them made us fall away before we even left college. I hate that it was so bad that I couldn't suck it up and talk to you instead of trying to avoid being around you at all costs. To those of you who we ended or friendships early...I'm sorry. You picked me up from the airport only to find me asleep on a bench, and still let me ride in your car when I was vomiting. And YOU, You were my roommate when I went through my grandfather's death and let me cry on you so many times. I hate that I remember why we fought bc I'm cursed with a freakishly good memory, and I hate that I can't tell them that I'm over it. If any of ya'll read this: congrats on your victories and good news. I miss you. I'm sorry I'm such a chicken. I always thought I was a better friend than this.

Longer new blog below.