Sunday, April 24, 2011

What Are You Waiting For?

No one is surprised to hear that humans are hard-wired to desire companionship. I've made it no secret that I would be happy to find love as my life would feel a bit more complete if I had someone with which to share it. Today, though, I realized how much my "list" has changed. You know "the list"... the one you made of desirable qualities in a mate? The one you may or may not have written down (I never did), but you always made checkmarks on as you met a new romantic interest? Ah yes, now you're with me. Anyways, mine has changed quite a bit, and I feel like chronicling the surprising changes here.

1. Respects my Faith - This is a HUGE one that has majorly evolved over the years. "Is a Christian" used to always be at the top of the list, but I've often chosen men to date who were agnostic. I've come to realize that respect is most important. While it would be nice to have a Christian mate, I'd above all hope that he would be respectful of the faith I have chosen to base the way I live my life.

2. Contributes Financially - I don't really make great money, but I get by. I'd love someone who contributes equally to the household. Now if that means he makes a little less or more than me, fine. If he made a lot, wow what a bonus! Being able to put a bit more in savings would be lovely, but I know how to budget, so money no longer matters.

3. Loves Dogs - Used to be "loves cats" but then Sprinkles happened. Since he is my constant companion, if you don't love Sprinkles, we're going to be a bit rocky simply because getting rid of him isn't really an option.

4. Handsome to Me - I say this is a change because it used to be "handsome" without the "to me". I've realized that when you're in love (or heavily in like), imperfections fade. I once dated a man long distance that the first time he called, I really didn't like his voice. Soon after the initial call, hearing "hello sweetheart" on the other end of the line brightened my day like nothing else could. It was about him and who he was, and falling for him meant his voice, being HIS, was perfect in my eyes. Physical imperfections like weight, an awkward gait, bitten nails, etc all have seemed to disappear in the past when I have fully fallen for a man. He's been perfect in my eyes because I know him, the real him, who he is inside. Sappy? Yes. Do I care? Not at all. :)

5. Sense of Humor - I didn't used to rank this one very high, but it's close to number 1 for me now. I use humor a lot to get out of awkward situations and to diffuse my discomfort in being around a group of people. Someone who gets my jokes and can roll with the witty banter is a must. If I can spend hours talking to him, laughing most of the time, but still able to be serious, it's a big plus.

*Side Note* I look back at #4, and I think how weird it is that I give the men I love (have interest in) that benefit, but I don't trust that they'll give it to me. I am constantly down on myself that my weight and looks aren't good enough, but if "he" loves me, that should melt away for him too. I should be beautiful in his eyes. If he can't get past my physical appearance (which I'm working on), then does he really know the real me? Has he really taken time to get to know me?

A few other things:
- Has to share my interests. I'm a geek, pure and simple, and I've embraced that lately. He's got to at least be able to admit that Steampunk has beauty. :) Firefly and Dr. Horrible should be humorous to him. There's other geeky stuff, but I won't bore you all with it.

- Loves Disney (movies & parks). I kept my love fairly under wraps until a few years ago. I've embraced it now. If you can't enjoy the magic of the parks with me or curl up on the couch to watch a great classic Disney movie, we're going to have some struggles. A fanatic (like me) would be nice but not necessary.

- Can listen to my work stories. I have to talk about work some when I get home. There's a ton that goes on, and working in a school has its own breed of drama. I need someone who can be supportive, offer advise when needed, and help me move past all that to enjoy the rest of the day.

- Loves that I'm passionate and sensitive. If not, the easy tears will totally daunt him. :)

So, no, I'm not waiting for my Edward or my Jacob. I'm not expecting Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor to whisk me away. I'm waiting for him though. I'm waiting for the man who meets these realistic qualities. I want someone who completes me just the way that I complete him. Am I desperately searching for him? Nah. I'm starting to have faith he'll come along. Maybe he's in my life, and we don't realize it yet. Maybe I haven't met him. I don't know, but after living alone this long, when I do get to share my life with someone, I will always remember to be grateful for him.

We're all often waiting for something: a mate, a better job, the chance to have a baby, a better opportunity in life. I know what I'm waiting for, what about you? What are you waiting for?

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