Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Year In Review: 2010

At the end of each year I often take a moment to reflect on the year. I usually don't post it on my blog, but for some reason I feel that 2010 should be documented. Maybe I just want to have a place to look back at how far I've come and what I've made it through. (Honestly I wrote this weeks ago and have been debating posting it for a while.)

Because this is public, I'm not going into the nitty-gritty, and honestly, I'm omitting some stuff. By the end of the post though, I think you'll understand why I'm ready to move on to 2011.

I started my year with a broken heart. It was my first broken heart. The kind that you read about and aren't sure are real. You know the ones: girl lying in bed crying, walking around weeping, sobbing in the shower, unable to really get dressed, to eat, or even to unpack her suitcase. That was me. I'd fallen in love with a man who lived on the Jersey Shore, and I flew to NYC to see meet him and hopefully plan for our future together. I'm not going further into it except to say I flew home the same day with my dreams of marriage completely dashed and my heart being impossibly broken.

With that broken heart though, I grew closer than ever to my sister, LaRae, and best friend, Tracy, who were waiting for me at the airport late into the night when I returned. They took me to Denney's and listened as I recapped the day. Tracy came and made me unpack my suitcase days later when I couldn't face it. I also learned a lot about myself; major things like what I want in life and who I really am. Good came from the bad.

Somehow I got over all that drama (and believe me when I say that's the short story that I actually don't mind putting out there). For my 27th birthday in February I got the *best* present ever: food poisoning! (Please tell me you read the sarcasm there.) I was literally in bed, sick as a dog, on my birthday. The one day a year where a single gal gets celebrated I thought I was dying. So violently ill that a blood vessel in my eye busted and a bunch busted around my eyes. I looked like a druggie when I headed back to work the next day. *ugh* Yeah, I can't put a positive spin on that. Well I got to have my birthday off from work. There. That was good I guess. :-/

From there I thought my year was looking up. I put myself on some online dating sites after two or three months, and I met a great guy... he might be reading this, so I'm going to not really going into it, but I will say that I made an amazing long-distance friend who I hope will be in my life, at least electronically, for a long time.

I started running and feeling like maybe I could be a real runner and do a half marathon at some point. But then my foot started hurting. I mean like limping, had to stop running which I was really enjoying, could not walk... hurting. After my doctor misdiagnosed my foot, I went to a foot doctor who said I had a bone spur. It only took about 5 flare ups over about 4 months including the entire summer before I had a diagnosis. BUT it was something I was able to get under control, so life was good. :) I don't mind being sick as long as I know what it is, am working towards healing, and finally heal.

Summer 2010 was interesting. I realized I wasn't tied down, so after a month of daily swims with Tracy & Meg or LaRae & the kids, Sprinkles and I hopped in my car (with Tracy) and headed across the country to Georgia to spend a month there. The summer brought lots of amazing memories: climbing over the front seat to trade seats with Tracy on the side of the highway in a monsoon, going to World of Coke (twice), spending a girls' weekend in Florida on the beach with Kat and Kelly, going to the family farm (twice) and celebrating my Nana's 90th birthday. It was a great summer, but I was ready to be home when the month was up! I learned another important lesson this summer: being home in GA for a month is too long. I LOVE my parents, but it was crazy. Sprinkles took the summer to learn more English than I ever thought he'd ever understand. Seriously. You'd be surprised what that wee (now fat) pup knows!

You all know what happened after the summer though, right? I started off my 6th year of teaching high school math with a killer sinus infection and then the Headache of Doooooom came on and lasted for 3 months. (Right now it's pretty much gone, so it's really looking up.) It took me on a journey that I never thought I'd have to go through or was strong enough for. I tried accupuncture even though I am deathly afraid of needles. I went to doctors' appointments 2-3 times a week and still balanced work in there. It consumed me, but honestly I now know what chronic pain is and how it can ruin your life. I learned that there isn't much pain worse than a chronic headache too. I will take any other pain over it.

During the time of the Headache of DOOOOOM I had an *amazing* trip to Walt Disney World. I made more memories there than I can ever share on my little blog.

So now I sit here writing this, and I reflect on it all. I've grown so much, and everything has been just another experience. The year wasn't all bad at all, but it had its huge bumps along the way. I've learned a TON:

I've learned that age isn't just a number.

I've learned that you can fall in love with someone intellectually but it still may not work out. I've learned that falling and loving hard makes the heart break harder, but it's worth it.

I've learned that just when you think you're at the brink of not being able to take any more, God gives you strength to keep going.

I've learned that life does go on and that the world keeps spinning.

I've learned that people are put in your life for different reasons, and if you look for those reasons, it's a little less painful when you realize they were there to help you grow.

I've also learned that family is constant. Well I always knew that, but some times more than others make me realize it again. Family loves and supports no matter what, and despite our flaws and fights, I couldn't ask for a better one.

So where am I as I head into 2011? Well right now I'm still recovering from pneumonia (no joke), but hey that's just another life experience I can cross off my list, right? I mean, if I were Laura Ingalls Wilder, that illness could have killed me. How awesome is modern medicine?

Seriously though, I'm looking forward to putting 2010 and its hurts behind me and moving in to 2011 on a positive note. I'm looking forward to good changes (which I'll let you know about as they come), and I'm looking forward to the unknown. So if I reply to your tweet or your facebook status with some obnoxiously positive spin on your whine, or I reply in that annoyingly optimistic way, just know it's because I honestly do try to look for the good in things. I don't just put positive spin on it all for my blog. When "bad" things happen, I immediately try to find the good in it (for my sanity and) because I believe Romans 8:28 when it says "we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

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