Friday, January 12, 2007


OK, that picture has nothing to do with my post today. It's a picture of Whitney and I at her rehearsal dinner 2 summers ago. It was a luau, and the groom's mother gave us soaker balls to have a water balloon fight with. Real mature, eh? Don't mess with me!

No I just have a few questions I want ya'lls opinions on. I heard from this guy on the sight. He's good looking and his profile sounds nice BUT 3 things:
1. He's divorced.
2. He's 35.
3. On his profile he checked that's he not really active with his church.

Now I went ahead and asked him if his divorce was scriptural and if he was willing to change his level of activity with the church (he's been baptized since 1985). Those two questions alone may have scared him off, and that's fine...I'll take that as God looking out for me. I guess my questions for you are:
1. If it's scriptural, should him being divorced be a real issue?
2. Is 35 too old? I'm almost 24 now. 11 years is big.
3. Not active in the church. Even if he says he is willing to change that, should I trust it? Even if we dated, and he came while we were dating. How sure could I be that he was for real?

On the other hand, Sprinkles gave me his opinion on my work last night. I woke up and heard him doing something and went ahead and ignored it and went back to sleep. Turns out when I woke up this morning I found 2 still totally intact pieces of pencil lead lying on one of the bins I stacked up for him to get onto the bed. First I thought, "how'd he push the button to get the lead out and not break the lead?!" Then i woke up more and found the mechanical pencil. He had eaten the eraser and let the lead fall out the end of the pencil. I've decided this is his editorial comment on my math skills. One: He thinks I should use pencil, so he left me the lead. Two: He thinks I'm so good I don't make mistakes, so I have no need for the eraser. Three: If only he had opposable thumbs, he could work my Sudoku puzzles when he wakes up at 3 am!


  1. Obviously, divorce is never the ideal, but I'm not sure he should be automatically disqualified until you find out more. You are right to be hesitant about this, however. I personally don't think 35 is too old. It would be nice to have some one around to deflect the age jokes you are constantly lobbing at me. The involvement issue is big. I've dated people who were nominally involved in their faith, and my level of committment always fell in those cases. However, he may not be overly involved because he hasn't gone to the right church. Not every church is VRCC, and who knows what sort of judgement he came under after the divorce.

  2. Coming out of left field like a bolt of lightning. My vote is No on the guy thing. I have always heard that the percentage of people who have a successfull second marriage is very small. The age thing isn't so bad, there are some pretty smokin hot 35 year old who are very active and then there are slow sloth-like 22 year olds. The church thing is also a nono. This is where I plop in the typical unequally yoked text and we go from there. Anyway, the real reason I am writing is that I am in Sacramento and am bored waiting 4 hours for my flight. Well, peace.

  3. I agree with phylemon. I know that comes as a huge shock....

    BUT some of my reasons are different. While Archippus makes an excellent point that the success rate for 2nd marriages is terrible, it is most terrible for people who were BOTH married previously. You negate that, and besides, who says that you HAVE to marry this guy if you go out on a date or two with him?

    35 not too old for you. May be too old for some of the folks around you - you just need to be prepared to deal with that. My grandparents were 11 years apart - they celebrated more than 50 years together. You just never know until you try it out - the dating thing, not the marriage thing.

    I agree that involvement is a big deal, but there can be successful marriages between believers and non-believers. Look at my folks. Now, I would love for them both to be more involved in the church, but their marriage produced two children who both married trained preachers. What are the odds?

    The point of this ramble is simply to say, "You never know until you try, so why agonize over all the what ifs? Get your feet wet."

  4. Hey there,

    Just checking in - hope you're doing well. I had no idea you had a link to my blog. Thanks, I'll return the favor.

    Wish I could help you on the guy thing - seriously, I'm not sure I'm best person to be giving advice on this subject matter? My main strategy in dating was pity - which means that Kelly is a really charitable person!

    I will say this, however: With the way some churches give divorcees the cold shoulder, it doesn't surprise me that many aren't as active as they used to be when they were married.

    Be good,